(no subject)

[stakebait]

Hi Guys, this is my first holiday season as a boss and I am trying to figure out how to handle it, hoping a quick poll might help. For the gift choices, assume they're all worth about the same amount (and none of them huge).

Thanks!

[Poll #1945021]

Comments

[lifecollage.livejournal.com]

I think that the big food treat for the office is a great idea, that way each person can partake to their own enjoyment.

I totally agree with "nice and not necessary." I've discovered over the years that gifts are totally not a Love Language for me. Or, they are, but only as a representation of how well the person knows me and thinks of me. Giving a gift "because" of a holiday - never my thing, so perforce holiday gift giving in the office feels insincere to me. But that's totally a me thing, and other people work in very different ways.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

Hopefully the Big Food Treat will be a box of clementines... I've discovered that while all treats are appreciated and devoured, there is a surprisingly passionate response to healthier snacks, perhaps because people are grateful not to have to resist them or feel bad about not doing so?

Interesting, gifts are definitely a love language for me. Not the highest priority by a long shot -- that's quality time, followed by touch and words -- but well above acts of service.

I agree that "how well you know me and think of me" is definitely one of the most important things about gift giving and receiving to me, but I don't mind it being because of a holiday, it's more about whether the gift was well chosen than what the occasion was. And also about giving and getting things that are nice but not necessary themselves... the kind of indulgence one enjoys but would not prioritize in one's own budget. That is not exactly a love language thing, but it is partly what I value about holiday gifts and would miss.

In the case of my employees, I want them to feel valued and appreciated (as indeed they are; they rock hard) but I also need to keep things professional and even-handed, so surprising them with gifts that are extremely tailored to their individual interests and not tied to a particular occasion the way I might with an outside of work friend could even be creepy, especially since they're both men and I'm a single woman. (We're more likely to do that with snagging books out of the freebies for each other if they're Relevant to your coworkers Interests). I am also concerned about what message letting a traditional gifting holiday go by without a present would send, and I have no idea whether gifts are important to either of them.

Not appropos of the workplace, but re: love languages, if I'm opting to give a LOT of gifts in a romantic relationship -- or buy a lot of things they've expressed interest in my having, whether or not they are called gifts and sent home with them -- it is usually a sign that I am more invested in making them happy than I am convinced that more of me will make them so, so I'm falling back on more impersonal ways to add value. I may not be sure you want more me, but I'm sure you want this thing. IMO that's pretty functional in the early stages of figuring things out; less so once established.