(no subject)

[stakebait]

I read a lot. I read modern stuff. Putting those together means one way or another, I've read hundreds, maybe thousands, of stories about unhappy childhoods.

There are exactly three that got me to suck in a breath of recognition.

Connie Willis's "All My Darling Daughters", from the Future On Fire anthology.

“West,” By Orson Scott Card, from The Folk of the Fringe, a book of interconnected post-apocalyptic Mormon short fiction.

This true story by papersky.

You should read them. They're good stories.

Also I think it's interesting what they have in common.

They’re all goddamn scary/creepy, rather than just pathetic/sad.

They’re all about complicity, or guilt for who and what we didn’t save.

They all include conflicting levels of reality.

They all end with doing something to make a difference to someone else. Something that really does make a difference, even if it can't undo all the damage, even if that something is late, or not enough, or comes at a high price.

It works for characters too. In the Jossverse, Wesley. In the Vorkosigan books, Lord Mark. I am predictable.

Comments

[vaspider]

Your link, there, it is not working.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

It's fixed. At least, it is on my machine. Thanks!

[vaspider]

Welcome, as always. Lovely. Thank you for linking.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

Welcome right back atcha. :)

[coffeeandink.livejournal.com]

There's a bit in something by Dorothy Allison--it may have been Bastard Out of Carolina, or it may have been something more overtly autobiographical--where she talks about pushing one of her sisters at her stepfather, so he'd go for them and not her, this one time, not her.

When I read that, I thought, *Yeah*. Even before the hurt hit, that recognition--*yeah*.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

*nodsnods* I love Bastard Out of Carolina, and there are definitely pieces I recognize. I don't know why I didn't put it on this list, but I've learned to trust those instincts -- something about those characters being so obstinately themselves that they resist identification, maybe?

[coffeeandink.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean to second-guess your categorization. :) It's just that that's one of my personal touchstone examples for difficult questions about victims' complicity in abuse and/or survivor guilt.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

*ndosnods* No worries. I didn't feel second guessed. Just thought it was interesting.

It is a good touchstone.

I think part of it is that so many people are writing about abuse from the perspective of "but of course it's not your fault", and that may well be true, but to me it will always be an *outside* perspective, not how it actually felt at the time -- or, in some ways, still does. Complicity at least preserves my efficacy, you know -- I'd rather believe I could do something, even if I didn't know how, than that anything I did or said would make absolutely no difference.

So it's fine if what they're writing is an outside perspective, the opinion of someone watching or trying to intervene or dealing with the person years later. But any depiction of being abused from the inside that doesn't include guilt or complicity may very well be accurate for others, but it's one I don't recognize.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

I don't actually ever want to read anything by Orson Scott Card again, actually.

But papersky's was...very good.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

*nods* That makes sense. A lot of people feel that way.

"West" is one of the reasons I personally don't. I'm very angry at him, because I feel like we -- queer folk, and especially queer fen -- are the kid he's throwing to the abuser to keep himself safe. But I think his books show he understands more than he lets himself consciously acknowledge (about being in our social position, not so much homoeroticism) and I'm not willing to give them up.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

He's a hell of a good author. He knows one largish subset of the human condition with great detail and subtlety, and he can communicate it brilliantly. He is utterly blind about some other stuff; so is every other human.

I'm pissed off at him as a person, but not as a writer. It certainly doesn't stop me from loving his books. What he can do, he can do well; that's the best any author can say. I despise his politics; that doesn't change the rest of it.

I haven't read "West" yet. I will.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

*nodsnodsnods* Exactly. Not saying everyone else should feel this way, but I'm with you. Let me know what you think of it? The whole book is worth reading, if you can deal with the Mormonism, though I like the set ups better than the follow through. "Pageant Wagon" was also very good.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

Since my favorite of his books by a country mile is "Saints," I doubt I'll have any problem with the Mormonism. Actually, I have a deep affection for the LDS Church; my daughter is named for the Mormon lady who brought me up, and I really like them. Don't agree with their theology, which is why I could never become one, but I love the history and the people.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

I never read Saints, should I?

[supergee.livejournal.com]

It makes me want to read "West." That's awesome company.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

Let me know what you think? I believe "West" appeared on its own in a book I've seen written as Alien Tales: Free Lances or Alien Tales: Free Lancers first, but unless you've got that handy, Folk of the Fringe is probably easier to find, as well as worth it for "Pageant Wagon" which was first published in FotF.

[jadelennox]

"All My Darling Daughters"

*curls into little ball*
*whimpers*
*shudders*

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

*snuggles you* Sorry, didn't mean to traumatize. And, yeah. It does stay with you, doesn't it?

[rosefox]

It does. I first read it as a teenager, and... yeah. When I went through a period of thinking the only way to succeed as a writer was to plagiarize (I was more desperate to be recognized than to actually earn the recognition), I tried to write a sequel of sorts, or maybe a reworking, because I so badly wanted it to be my story and my avenue for expressing all the crazy adolescent pain that was balled up inside me.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

Interesting! I certainly get the impulse, fanficcer that I am, but I confess I can't imagine what could go into or around or instead of that story, it's so tightly packed in itself. I didn't read it till college, though.

[rosefox]

On a totally different topic, did you get sinboy's email about us being in town?

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

::checks email:: I have now. Just answered. Thanks!

[doeeyedbunny.livejournal.com]

papersky's story broke my heart (but in a kinda good way). Thank you for sharing that.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

You're entirely welcome. Did you tell her? *grin* I imagine she'd like to hear it.