stakebait: (Default)
[personal profile] stakebait
Good Lord. Courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] officialgaiman, I’ve just found out that these people want a bunch of conservative Christians to move to South Carolina and then secede from the union to create a Christian republic in accordance with their (to my eyes, wacky) reading of the Constitution.

Which leads me to the burning question, why South Carolina?

I’m not entirely displeased with a solution in which they leave and we stay, since lately I’ve so often feared it would be the other way round. But wouldn’t it make more sense to take over, I don’t know, Hawaii? Something self-contained and not so close to Washington, DC? I don’t care how sympathetic to right wing Christians they are, people who need a whole hemisphere to feel safe will never let you keep it.

I suppose I’ll have to revise my “in case of world ending, go here” plan again. Even if they don’t succeed at seccession, large numbers of disgruntled extremist Christians are not healthy for bisexual Jewish atheist ACLU member to hang around. Drat. I liked South Carolina, it had good trees.

Date: 2004-06-09 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pocketnaomi.livejournal.com
Funny, I was just thinking the other day about offering them some of the South for their theocracy if they'd more there and leave the United States alone.

I assume they want South Carolina because they think it contains enough of them already that takeover would be easy. Hawaii is notoriously liberal. And I don't think they could take Alaska easily -- the Alaskans are conservative all right, but tend to the libertarian; they have little use for theocracies. And they do have guns.

Date: 2004-06-09 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
Ah, gotcha. That makes sense.

They'd never be allowed to take Alaska anyway. Too much oil.

Mer

Date: 2004-06-09 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kalmn.livejournal.com
if you'll pardon me, woohoo!

you see, i was afraid they'd move to new hampshire, where the libertarians are moving to. which would, i think, mean that the cunning (and i use that word loosely) plans of the libs and the extremist christians would have a better chance of working, if they could manage to work together.

Date: 2004-06-09 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chanaleh.livejournal.com
Indeed -- the Free Statists were the first thing I thought of when I read this. The second thing was, "Hell, why not?"

Date: 2004-06-09 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] cheshyre
Me too.

Date: 2004-06-09 09:47 pm (UTC)
vaspider: (Default)
From: [personal profile] vaspider
...because North Carolina might get ideas, and I actually like it here?

Date: 2004-06-10 07:38 pm (UTC)
rhi: A candle-lit labyrinth with a person just entering. (cloudy moon)
From: [personal profile] rhi
Yes, well, keep these quotes in mind:

"North Carolina. That vale of humility between those mounts of arrogance, South Carolina and Virginia." (Lincoln)

"South Carolina is too small to be its own country, and too large to be an insane asylum." (Mary Chestnut something, diarist during the Civil War)

It's just SC. You're probably fine. ;->

Date: 2004-06-09 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
I guess it makes sense. Our political system is so based on geography, and with increased mobility it might very well be easier to move all the common interests to one place.

I don't think they could manage to work together very well. But I've been wrong before.

Mer

Date: 2004-06-09 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nightstalker.livejournal.com
I can't see that working. The whole point of the fundamentalist movement is to tell others what to do; the whole point of the libertarian movement is to not let anyone else tell you what to do.

...and they'll both have guns.

Date: 2004-06-09 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meko00.livejournal.com
I shy away from religious people. Really, they are freaky. We have an ongoing trial concerning some homicidal pentecostals in my country, and well, they're very very scary.

And diversity is all good. That said, I'm probably what would translate as moderate republican, but we have weird Socialists ruining the country over here.

Date: 2004-06-09 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
Heh. I get that, but I promise I have lots of sane religous friends. Or at least, my kind of crazy. :)

You can tell them by the fact they they don't think I should live by their rules.

Date: 2004-06-09 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supergee.livejournal.com
At times like this, I am comforted by what Governor Earl Long said when the more rabid segregationists in his state were talking about secession: "Remember, the feds got the A-bomb."

Date: 2004-06-09 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rysmiel.livejournal.com
On t'other hand, putting them all in one place does facilitate using such area-effect weapons on them.

Date: 2004-06-09 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rysmiel.livejournal.com
On further consideration, there are probably pieces of land one could send them to which would have less to be damaged by such.

Find a nice piece of wasteland and approach them on a "privation is good for the soul" basis ?

Date: 2004-06-09 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
Area-effect makes me think of D&D, leading to:

"Great Smoky Mountains National Park is now a flat, barren wasteland."

Rumsfeld: That's it? But I rolled a 20!

Cheney: Now, Donald, you know trees can't be criticalled. They're like gollums. Now roll your scatter.

Rumsfeld: Dang!

Bush: What now?

Rumsfeld: I hit Chapel Hill.

Bush: Never mind. I have a scroll of lesser restoration.

Cheney: We like to call that an appropriations bill.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2004-06-10 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
Hee! Sorry, kitties. But we have to find the funny where we can, in these scary times. :)

Date: 2004-06-09 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
True. Though I can't say I find the thought of them using it comforting exactly.

Date: 2004-06-09 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinker.livejournal.com
They can't have Hawaii! Besides which, Hawaii's sort of inimical to that sort of religion -- it's hard to believe that the world is out to get you, there.

Date: 2004-06-09 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babydraco.livejournal.com
ith their (to my eyes, wacky) reading of the Constitution.

And their wacky reading of Christianity.

But actually, maybe it's better if they go. Let them go live in their closed off, fundamentalist backward republic, and the rest of us can continue living our lives in a sane manner, being concerned about things like freedom of speech, human rights and have the right to wear low rise pants and listen to rock music.

Plus, we'd still have the big weapons.

Date: 2004-06-09 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reannon.livejournal.com
And their wacky reading of Christianity.

Amen.

Date: 2004-06-09 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
And their wacky reading of Christianity.

I wondered about that, but not being a Christian I didn't feel qualified to comment.

Date: 2004-06-09 08:29 pm (UTC)
sdelmonte: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sdelmonte
Why South Carolina? Remember where Strom Thurmond is from.

Date: 2004-06-09 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sihaya09.livejournal.com
Our schools continue to teach the clearly discredited theory of Darwinian evolution

That made my day.

Date: 2004-06-09 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maggie77.livejournal.com
Gah! Ok - as a Christian who actually has a brain, may I just say that these people do NOT speak for me. Or anyone I know personally.

I feel like I need to apologize for the Christian right-wing extremists and say to the world - "That is NOT what Jesus would do!" He actually, you know, *liked* people who were different than him.

I know that you are an intelligent woman who would not judge a whole group of people by the actions of a minority, but still.... we all aren't like this. Really.

::shaking head in despair::

Date: 2004-06-10 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
*hugs* No worries. There's nut cases of every flavor, and I know you're not one of them. If you want some wacky Jew stories, there are now, no fooling, people who will not drink water unless it's certified Kosher. Water. The stuff you wash other stuff in it make it Kosher. The stupid knows no bounds.

Date: 2004-06-09 09:47 pm (UTC)
ext_8883: jasmine:  a temple would be nice (evilcordy)
From: [identity profile] naomichana.livejournal.com
I think what I like least about the way many people have responded to these loonies is the "OK, let them have South Carolina" approach. Because:

(1) Oh, please. Like they'd stop at one little territory. Christianity has universality built in, and that particular distortion of it is every bit as "militant" as Wahhabi Islam when it comes to spreading itself all over the globe.

(2) Excuse me? I'm not even from South Carolina, but I know plenty of sane and delightful people who live there and wouldn't appreciate anyone wishing their state away. And I am from one state up, so I'm easily annoyed bu the assumption that anywhere below the Mason-Dixon Line must be full of cretinous unwashed masses easily led by pseudo-Christian theocrats. You want to let these bozos have their own country? It better start in your backyard, not mine.

(3) But I'm still not going to assent, because, see, we get hung up on certain points of history down south, and I happen to think there was a damn good reason for us not to let South Carolina secede last time. Consider the alternative. Really.

Date: 2004-06-09 10:54 pm (UTC)
vaspider: (Default)
From: [personal profile] vaspider
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<i.>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<i. And I am from one state up, so I'm easily annoyed bu the assumption that anywhere below the Mason-Dixon Line must be full of cretinous unwashed masses easily led by pseudo-Christian theocrats. You want to let these bozos have their own country? It better start in your backyard, not mine. </i>

<b>AMEN AND HALLELUJAH</b>.

Date: 2004-06-09 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nightstalker.livejournal.com
The upside of this would be that there'd be less people to vote in far right fundamentalist candidates in other part of the country, which might mean a little more sanity in our lawmaking and governing process.

Date: 2004-06-10 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
True, and yet, not worth it. What's next, Oregon for Greenpeace, and Missouri for the Single Taxers?

Date: 2004-06-11 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nightstalker.livejournal.com
Why not? States rights have been far too de-emphasized - the Republicans only trot it out when it suits their purposes, and most Democrats don't even seem to remember it. (At least one state will still have an environment if Greenpeace takes it over.)

Now we just need to figure out what New York will be a haven for.

(And considering how NY State, and NYC in particular, gets consistently stiffed and robbed by the federal government, maybe succession wouldn't be that bad of an idea?)

Date: 2004-06-11 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
Not for me, thanks. The US is my country. All of it, not just this piece. I don't want to have to go through customs to visit my mother, or my friends in Connecticut, Philly, and California. I'm not a fan of state's rights, to tell you the truth. So often they seem to me to come at the expense of individual rights, which the Federal courts protect.

Plus, frankly, they strike me as kind of outdated -- artifacts of slow travel and lack of instant communication. Especially here in the East where the states are so small that a couple can live in one and each commute to a different other, I don't want my own rights to change as I move around my ordinary days according to where I happen to be standing.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2004-06-10 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
So did we. :)

Tempting though it may be...

Date: 2004-06-10 02:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] barking-iguana.livejournal.com
The Constitution of the United States of America

Amendment XIV, Secion 1.
All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States... No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States...
We fought the worst war in our history to get that passed. South Carolinians who would object to the new arangement are entitled to the amendment's protection.

Re: Tempting though it may be...

Date: 2004-06-10 04:56 pm (UTC)
erisiansaint: (Default)
From: [personal profile] erisiansaint
Will somebody go smack Dubya upside the head with that passage? Then again, he doesn't think atheists are citizens.

Re: Tempting though it may be...

Date: 2004-06-11 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stakebait.livejournal.com
*blink* Did he actually say that? Or are you just extrapolating?

Date: 2004-06-10 04:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xiphias.livejournal.com
I have an alternative solution. As people have pointed out, there are non-moronic people in South Carolina who don't deserve to have these people descend on them.

What I suggest, instead, is an orbital habitat.

We start with a large rocket, in which we place all the people who wish to seceede and form a new country. The rocket is sent into space.

Okay, that's what I've got so far. Anything I'm forgetting?

Date: 2004-06-11 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doeeyedbunny.livejournal.com
Douglas Adams thought of that already. Except it was annoying, inefficient middlemen of society, not religous extremists.

Date: 2004-06-10 07:51 pm (UTC)
rhi: Redheaded woman in bikini top, looking back.  Surprise! (surprise)
From: [personal profile] rhi
I must admit, my first thought is, 'Has anyone mentioned this to the governor of South Carolina?' My second thought it, 'If they do that, Charleston'll secede from South Carolina.'

(I must say, though, that 11 months in Columbia, SC completely boggled me, and I was born and raised a couple states over, in TN. I have never seen so many Bible groups, Bible readers, Christian bookstores, or adult entertainment locations (strip clubs and 'massage parlors' that won't actually let you book a massage). The last two, by the bye, were frequently in close proximity.)
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