I tend to operate on the "the person who asks out/sets the date pays" theory, or the dutch treat theory. I am very uncomfortable with "I pay because I have the penis," or "I pay, and you put out."

"I am not a traditionally feminine woman; a guy who insists on fulfilling the traditionally masculine role is probably going to be a bad match for me in both directions... we're going to clash when I want to do for myself/be independent, and we're going to clash again when I fail to live up to the female side of the bargain."

This, over and over again.