"As long as it is conscious it is hot" is not exactly the same thing as what I said, at least to me. Someone can be consciously playing with a dynamic and still have that dynamic be way too gender essentialist for me to be okay with participating in it, or even sometimes to be around it at all.
As to the rest, if it works for you, more power to you. It would not work for me on a first date, which is when I'm *least* sure that I want to be submissive to this person. I need to know that they are capable of respecting my limits and interacting with me as an equal before I'm willing to play with being anything else.
(I'm also not really femme or butch, though I've got aspects of both, so anyone who is invested in butch/femme as a yin/yang dynamic is almost as bad a match for me as a very traditional guy would be, though I am down with dating someone who identifies as butch or femme for themselves without wanting me to be the complimentary half.)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-11-14 02:24 pm (UTC)As to the rest, if it works for you, more power to you. It would not work for me on a first date, which is when I'm *least* sure that I want to be submissive to this person. I need to know that they are capable of respecting my limits and interacting with me as an equal before I'm willing to play with being anything else.
(I'm also not really femme or butch, though I've got aspects of both, so anyone who is invested in butch/femme as a yin/yang dynamic is almost as bad a match for me as a very traditional guy would be, though I am down with dating someone who identifies as butch or femme for themselves without wanting me to be the complimentary half.)