That makes sense but it kind of sucks for you because girls like me -- if there are any other girls like me -- are quite capable of saying "I thought he was cute but he insisted on paying so I thought he was sexist" and then you never hear from *them* again. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
In theory anyway. I've never actually done that -- it's been a definite first strike, but not a dealbreaker all on its own. Of the three guys who I gave up and let pay, I ended two of the relationships after a few dates.
The third just happened last week, and I didn't know he was considering it a date *until* he paid and gave the gendered explanation. I don't know if it's ever going to be anything since he lives on the other side of the country... but since he's a full generation older than me I give him more of a pass on having traditional expectations of himself. Though I made it clear that they're his expectations only, not mine.
The people I hate are the ones who say "I offer but I expect him to insist" -- goddamn it, say what you mean and mean what you say and stop spoiling clear communication for the rest of us!
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 01:49 pm (UTC)In theory anyway. I've never actually done that -- it's been a definite first strike, but not a dealbreaker all on its own. Of the three guys who I gave up and let pay, I ended two of the relationships after a few dates.
The third just happened last week, and I didn't know he was considering it a date *until* he paid and gave the gendered explanation. I don't know if it's ever going to be anything since he lives on the other side of the country... but since he's a full generation older than me I give him more of a pass on having traditional expectations of himself. Though I made it clear that they're his expectations only, not mine.
The people I hate are the ones who say "I offer but I expect him to insist" -- goddamn it, say what you mean and mean what you say and stop spoiling clear communication for the rest of us!